Archive for July, 2007

Jul31st2007

iTunes Junkie

Published
by
geoff
1 year ago
in Music
. 0 Comments

itunes.jpgThanks Mr. Jobs. Because of you, I need an intervention. Boy, do I need some professional help. Is that the first step - admitting that I have a problem? It doesn’t help that I am an impulse shopper. My decision process is about 2.5 seconds. It really doesn’t help that I’m a sucker for instant gratification. Probably doesn’t work in my favor either that I’m always looking for new music. I really think, that when they did the financial modelling for the the iTunes project, I slotted into the “heavy user” category.

Here’s how my Tuesdays go. Sometime around mid-morning, after I finish my TPS reports, I’ll get an email from Apple iTunes. Most of the time, it has some kind of sexy subject line highlighting some new music. Basically, this sets off this Pavlovian chain reaction unseen by the likes of Ivan Pavlov himself. I begin by scouring the music sites - Paste, Pitchfork, CMJ, Coolfer, MetaCritic, etc… Looking for names, reviews, new releases. Then I pull out my trusty pad, which has permanent residence in my back pocket, to look over the names of bands I jotted down while listening to Alt Nation, Garage, Litium and Left of Center (Sirius channels). And then the final fatal step, I click “store” from that whore of a music program, iTunes. Its like an apple shaped vacuum cleaner attached itself to my wallet and is sucking up anything that resembles currency at a rate equivalent to that of Kirstie Alley at a Krispy Kreme.

Maybe you want the new Editors? Click! - done. How about Interpol? Click! - purchased. Don’t forget about the Smashing Pumpkins. Or The Maps? Tokyo Police Club? UNKLE? Spoon? Queens of the Stone Age? Click, click, click click, click and CLICK! Just to recap, in a matter of, hmmm, 6.5 minutes, I dropped $85 and have it all downloaded, ready to listen. Its like a mad rush. Speed buying. Not insane like those pre-bridal Godzillas at the infamous Vera Wang wedding gown sell-off, but crazy enough. If I smoked, I’d need a cigarette. All I see at the end of the month is damage. Enjoyable minutes, but damage. I decided to punish myself last year and look at my Amex statement by seperating out the iTunes purchases. Not good. I’m sure I covered someones job out there or at least cut myself out of a good 3-week vacation in Europe with an extended stay in Amsterdam. They are constantly making it better (uh-1080p Movies) and easier to shop (”Just for you”). I’m sure that Steve Jobs and his jolly band of Apple elves are working on some Matrix type thing in which your iPod chip is inserted into your skull and the music is instantly downloaded through some intricate satellite system directly to your brain (that would be pretty cool). All you will have to do then is think “yes”. Just another way to deprive me of my milk money.
Anyone know a good support group?

Jul26th2007

Crazy v Crazy (2007)

Published
by
geoff
1 year, 1 month ago
in Entertainment and Hollywood
. 0 Comments

kfed_vs_brit.jpgHow entertaining is this? Seriously. K-Fed vs. Brit. I’m really starting to watch this like a train wreck. I don’t think there is a day that goes buy without The Superficial or People Magazine highlighting some story revolving around these two. Well, let me take a step back, minus the speculation that K-Fed spawned another Baby K with his ex, he’s remained pretty clean in the tabloids. It really is a daily freak out by Brittany, our beloved Trailer Park Princess (or Queen of Over-Exposure, your choice). Is this some mad social science or government experiment gone awry? Give some zero talent white trash mousekateer a lot of money, build her up, then crash her career in a matter of minutes. Can you call it a career? It seems more like 15 minutes in which the battery in the watch died and just hung on 14:59. I mean her career has been supported by overly self-conscious girls and internet pedophiles. Hmmm…Lets see what happens! My guess is that Loki got the controls for a little while and is providing a lot of us with some solid entertainment.

What got me thinking of this was the reports on CNN (yes, CNN) about her OK! interview. That she was wiping fried chicken grease on a $5k dress, snaked a bunch of clothes from the photo shoot and blamed it on her assistant (classy). I know she has the paparazzi following her every move, making life so tough. Recapping from the past year - head shaving, umbrella attacking (right, auditioning for a movie part), bikini borrowing, driving with her baby in her lap, 2 stints in rehab, and the restraining order on her mom.

But is K-Fed really as dumb as he looks? (Don’t answer that - its really not a question). Shovel in hand, pile of gold in site. We all know that he’s not MENSA material, let alone the ringer on Hi-IQ. If Candyland had questions, I’m quite confident he would be stuck at “Start”. Anyway, here’s what the former backup dancer got out of it. 1) He got to sleep with Brittany in her better days. Not saying she wasn’t crazy, but she was pretty close to her peak. 2) He got an allowance that rivaled an NFL player. 3) Traveled 1st Class everywhere, with or without her. 4) A supposed settlement that ranges in the$5-10 million amount. 5) Whatever toys he managed to accumulate (which included a Ferrari, couple nice motorcycles, a watch that is worth more than my years salary) during the marriage. 6) On a somewhat different track - he staked claim to the best Super Bowl Ad this past year. That was pretty damn funny. But what is K-Fed now? The ex-Mr. Spears. A single man with 4 kids through two women (hey, it worked for Dr. J). He’s got a “name” and if he walked with any money, I’m sure its more than he had when he started.

So, who is getting the better end of the deal? Me! Because I get to laugh my ass off everyday.

Jul24th2007

Happy Birthday Barry Bonds

Published
by
geoff
1 year, 1 month ago
in Sports
. 0 Comments

bonds_clear.jpgI had a little outlook reminder pop up today. My good friend Barry Bonds turned 43, and I found myself asking - “what do you get the guy that has everything?”. I mean, he has the love and admiration of baseball fans everywhere, an ex-girlfriend Kimberly Williams “telling all” and posing in Playboy, a saucy $15.8M salary (chump change!), the inspiration for the lead character in a lovely fairly tale - Game of Shadows, a reality show (oops, that got canceled) and lets not forget, endless support from the MLB commish as he pursues the greatest record in baseball. Man, this is tough.

My first thought was Tae-Bo dvd’s. Almost too perfect. I used to wake up to my roommate jamming away to these things at 6 AM. Worked wonders (yuh-huh). As Barry gets into the golden years, why not give him something he can cherish for years to come and utilize to maintain that physique. I mean, it worked for Billy Blanks. Right? Well, scratch that because Barry has Greg Anderson (who is probably teaching water aerobics in the Cal St. Penitentiary system). The next idea was a BALCO gift card. I’m normally not a gift card person. My sister once asked for a Lowe’s giftcard for X-mas, so I bought her a toilet instead, making her return it for the value. I thought the gift card would allow Barry to try something else in BALCOs product offering, but then someone told me that there is suspicion in the general public that “The Cream” and “The Clear” are steroids. WHAT?! I’m shocked. So, scratch the gift card, especially with all the suspicion that might cause.

Man…this is killing me. I take pride in my gift giving and the last thing I want to do is let Barry down.

I think I got it. Its a little off the wall, but maybe I can pull it off. I’ll call it, the “True Fans TV Dinner”. A 12-pack of PBR and a pack of Ball Park Franks. I gotta keep it cheap because all my extra money is going toward $50 game tickets and $6 beers at the game, which in effect will help pay Barry’s enormous salary. Its also reminiscent of Babe Ruth’s weekly dinner. Hell, he smacked 714 of them on booze, carbs and greasy food. Its got a little Red, White and Blue in it - maybe instill a little USA pride for Barry. Lastly, its portable. You can take it into the dugout on one of your off days. Sound good?

Anyway, Barry, Happy Birthday. Go hit your homerun. If you hit it in Chicago, do you think the fans will throw it back?

Jul18th2007

Must See TV

Published
by
geoff
1 year, 1 month ago
in Entertainment
. 0 Comments

Where has it gone? It used to be that there was a good night or two a week that you sat around with your friends, glued to the TV and lose yourself. When Mtv rolled out with Real World & Road Rules, people thought the rogue music channel was crazy, but it gave us the new style - legal Voyeurism. The “characters” started looking at the shows as a chance to make it big. Buffed and beautiful people, all with attitude, opinions, and some type of emotional trauma were the makeup of the cast. Well, soon after, came Survivor & Big Brother. Then everyone jumped on the boat. The Apprentice, The Bachelor (& -ette), Marrying a Millionaire, and now we’ve moved on to Dancing with Circus Animals, Ice Skating with Crack Addicts, Singing with Bees, Swapping Wives, Hyper Kids & SuperNannies, and I Can Make a Jackass Out of Myself on TV and Hope I Get Noticed or Revive My Career (I made that last one up. well, not really). So, save some space on your TiVO this fall, here comes “The Corey’s”. This must be the by-product of one hell of an alcohol/multi- chemical induced brainstorming session.

When it gets down to it, why is Reality TV such a hit? Isn’t it just people watching? I know most of these are guilty pleasures but haven’t we gone a little over the edge? I think the reality genre now makes up over 50% of the upcoming primetime schedule. Most of these episodes end like train wrecks and have some type of finale with the non-winners/ evacuees all pissed off at the potential winner. Lord of the Flys, right? Aren’t there some high-priced TV execs with some good ideas? Where has Larry Charles (Seinfeld) disappeared to? Here’s one - Survivor 22: Manhattan. One of the challenges - Take 10 people, drop them off around sunset at Inwood with $20K taped to their bodies. Have them run through a series of checkpoints: Fort George, Washington Heights, Harlem, Morningside, East Harlem and back up to the finish line at Yankee Stadium. The winner is determined by an equation of finish position and cash remaining. Hmmmm…Anynone? Mark Burnett’s phone number?

Sad part about all this, is now the people that are called “Reality Stars”. Yes, they are on television and yes, we see them “acting”, but what are they doing now? Pitching projects to Fred Savage? Having lunch with Ron Howard? Well, here’s your chance to find out! They are actually doing a tour on how to make you a reality star and I’m sure its coming to a town near you. Here in Atlanta, they are actually using Phillips Arena (home of the Thrashers and mosh-pit inducing JT concerts) to pack the money crowd in. You too can experience a once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn from Syrus, Kristen Johnson (who?) and William Hung on how to make it. Yesssss! Oh yeah, did I mention tickets start at $49 and go to $115. HOLY HELL! (Is that with or without lube?) I classify the useful information/take away of this event just below the “How To” seminar on real estate with property mogul Ivanka Trump (yes, the 25 yr-old daughter of “Make your money the old fashioned way, inherit it”) and not her father. Hey, if the price is right then the secrets are yours to be had.

Jul14th2007

Here come the Simpsons!

Published
by
geoff
1 year, 1 month ago
in Hollywood and Marketing
. 0 Comments

gf_simpson2.gifI’m super excited. I love The Simpsons. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa & Maggie have been part of the household for some 14 years and the crazy part, is that some of my friends kids are now watching The Simpsons. During college, it was a sunday night ritual

But, are you ready world? Simpsons-mania has officially arrived (well, actually a couple weeks ago). 20th Century Fox obviously has their best people on it. No matter where you turn, there’s something. Ask yourself this, how many times have you caught yourself singing “Spiderpig” over the last week (speaking from experience here people). I can only imagine the media dollars that were spent and what it cost to support this. I go on…

Let’s see, you have 7-Eleven make-overs in numerous towns (I read somewhere that it cost the slurpee shop a cool $10 Mil), special edition Vans shoes, a “Like Springfield” contest, a Samsung mobile phone (do I have to pay extra for the Homer ringtone?), xbox 360 is doing a special yellow console, Jet Blue is hosting a contest but not giving away any flights (weird!) and last but not least, a partnership with Burger King of which produced the online sensation of the day - Simpsonizeme. You can see my attempt right before your eyes, I’ll admit, a little embelishment with the hair and the six pack abs, but it came out alright. It took about 10 tries just to get my photo uploaded, and now, it says the site is down. Hmm… good one.

Is this not a little overkill? Why doesn’t Miller Lite step in for a co-branded effort with Duff beer? Basically, the only thing we are missing is a partnership with Huggies or Luvs for the Maggie line of diapers. How about Marge & Emeril whip up some Springfield style cuisine for Food Network? Maybe a Hairclub & Homer sponsorship. I digress…

My advice? Ease off the throttle a little bit 20 Centuy Fox. People will come. You have a strong brand. I think you could have limited the reach on this one and not flooded the market. Its not like the Simpson’s is a mystery - some crazy concept that you are birthing to the public (just do your best French accent - “Who are these…Simp-sons?”). Is someone going to lose their job for sticking their neck out? NOT POSSIBLE! Unless the movie is 96 minutes of Apu fixing the slurpee machine, I think it might even give Harry Potter Spiderman Transformers Die Hard a run.

So, in the meantime, I’m going to sit back with my bowl of KrustyO’s, chew and humm “Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does… “

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