geoffism.com

So, the “Tornado of 2008″ has come and gone. It definitely left its mark on Atlanta. I live (I say that loosely because my place might be unlivable upon further review) in a loft in downtown Atlanta - Cabbagetown, for those of you outside Atlanta (and some of you inside who don’t venture outside of Buckhead).

Around 9:00, I got a tornado warning. That led me to our favorite source of information, Al Gore’s Interweb to see what the hell was going on. We had a slight chance of severe weather, no sign of tornadoes. No sooner than I saw that, wind kicked up and the rain & lightning started (looking west). The light show started becoming more and more spectacular with the passing minutes. I started shutting windows to keep my place from turning into a into swimming pool. We might be in for a wild one this evening.

At the moment (about 9:30) when I moved back into my bedroom to close those windows, the power dropped (you know that moment - BAMM! What the Fu…!), I looked out my bedroom window (looking south) and I see the transformer box explode on the telephone pole. Hmmm… should I revert to my “stop, drop, and roll” training (or duck & cover) from elementary school? What happened over the next 5 minutes was strange and unlike anything else I’ve been though (couple hurricanes, blizzard, 9-11, NYC blackout, earthquake). Some people say it sounds like a freight train, I would say it sounds more like a 767 engine right at my window. This massive pitching engine - KCHHHHHHHH!!!! Getting louder and higher pitched as it gets closer - to YOU! I’m feeling the sound right against the window. Praying that a stray 2×4 didn’t take permanent residence in my loft. It looked like someone was stirring a giant mojito with too much mint in it or in an observation room in a swamp. There was so much debris, leaves, branches and trash flying around, and it all was on horizontal paths. I swear I saw a cat, or maybe a small cow. The color was this murky green and mixed with amazing white flashes of light. The building was shaking like a paint mixer at Home Depot.

Then silence. Its gone. Over. With an slight overtone of car alarms. Symphony of Destruction (sorry, couldn’t resist).

The aftermath was madness - just really not sure what to do. I checked on my other 4th floor neighbors, making sure everyone was ok. The biggest surprise was that none of my windows blew out. I did have a couple of them cracked. Looking out into the parking lot was completely covered in debris - wood beams, bricks, trash, and tons of miscellaneous forestry elements. We (my neighbors and I) ventured down to the parking lot, and the first shock was the amount of car windows blown out. Cars were just cracked and shattered. Some of them had bricks in their front seats or on their rear window shelves. The next shock was seeing the top floor of my building, precisely the unit RIGHT above mine. It was now missing its roof. It resembled something out of Ghostbusters - you could see the clear sky through the big windows. I can’t imagine what that must have been like - having your roof ripped off in a brief moment in time. The next big shock came from looking across the parking lot at building E. There was a HUGE pile of debris where the courtyard used to be and an even larger section of a missing roof. Absolutely shocking. There’s no electricity. All you see are flashlights and all you hear are voices echoing off the walls. Tomorrow morning is going to be weird. All this will be extremely visible. My night continues…

After milling about for 30 minutes, answer mobile calls from local friends, the authorities arrive (police, EMT, AFD) and warn us that another is on the way. Seriously? I head back up to my place and start to take stock in what just happened. Madness. As soon as the short rain subsides (thankfully, no second tornado), I thought my night might be over. Wrong. Heavier rain starts and I start to hear drips. Not just one, “where the hell is that” drip, but multiple drips. Basically, the unit above mine (now sans roof) was now collecting water and funneling it down into my place - it was starting to resemble something like a factory with a faulty sprinkler system. More drips than buckets. I tried moving furniture around - a new form of Feng Sui. We are now trying to save the ship from going down. Its not looking good. I’ve now hit capacity. No more buckets. Rain is coming down harder. The “faucet” is wide open.

I start to play that game - “If your place was on fire, what would you grab?”. When I say play, I mean live. This is now real. The place above me is “gone”. I’m not sure what is next. Is my roof going to cave in? What is the water saturation capacity of the ceiling above. I see the wood start to change color from the drenching water. All I have is a small flashlight and it’s pitch black out. The Chinese water torture sounds are echoing off the walls. People swinging by knocked and stuck their head in - only to hear the new found “cabbagetown reservoir” establishing residence in my place. So, what do you grab? I break it down to the simplest thing - what do you need the most right now, and what is irreplaceable? The winners - computer, camera, insurance info and cell phone charger. Oh, and an umbrella. I think that will work.

So, unharmed, running on adrenaline, and having about a 5% idea of what just happened, I look back and consider myself very lucky. The only injury that I have heard of is Jim, my upstair’s neighbor. His roof decided to fly off. I think he got knocked by a couple bricks. Last I heard, he was on his way to the hospital.

All I need to do is do a bit of clean up to do and organize with the insurance co’s, and we’ll be fine. Its just stuff.

Here’s some pictures

edit: Good news! Jim, who lives above me, is good. His roof is the one that is missing. He took a nasty shot to the head (staples and stitches required) but was all smiles when I saw him on today (Sunday). His place is destroyed and he’ll be out for some time. My story pales in comparison to him. I haven’t heard of any fatalities or major injuries from the other buildings. But again, its just stuff.

So we are a little dry here in Atlanta. And that’s putting it mildly. You pretty much can’t turn on the news without hearing about the “drought”. We see these images of Lake Lanier all dried out and the boats resting on the bottom. There’s been a battle between Georgia and Alabama about water distribution and everyone wants to blame Atlanta (too big, too dirty, too many people taking baths…), but I guess that happens when you have more people (6.7MM) in one city than people in the rest in both states combined (6.4MM) - shocker. Supply and demand people.

Never fear though. We have the answer. Well, Sonny does. Prayer. Yes, prayer. Supposedly it worked once before. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not an athiest or don’t believe in “devine intervention”, but come on, let’s at least get something in here we can count on, like maybe some Cherokee Indians from Appalachia doing a dance. I heard Pac Man Jones knows how to make it rain.  Get him involved.  If I’m a betting man, my cash in on the native americans. It’s about 10 AM, I’m looking out my window and the sky is relatively clear. Didn’t Sonny at least look at the weather report before scheduling this public gathering? Isn’t it ironic though, with the state of Georgia and the impact of religion - this is the same state that suggested to remove “Evolution” from science curriculum, because it couldn’t be proven (biological changes over time - WAHOO!) and that it might cross under god or religion. This is also the same state that argued for YEARS about keeping a kid on jail about getting a little “something special that all men like” in high-school. Oh, did I mention that during his incarceration, the law was changed and he was still detained. You know what, I think our public officials need a new PR agency or at least need to spend a little more time getting stuff done. We need to come across just a tad smarter.

Will the prayer be answered?:

Lets get back to this water issue. Using too much? Who is responsible for policing this? About a month ago, when the water ban was in full effect, Turner field was caught keeping the grass green. Good one. Why don’t we just break out the slip-n-slide and a pitcher of margaritas. Was “The Ted” not aware of the watering ban? Miss the memo? It just breaks down to responsibility and care. Now I read that the city will allow Turner since they are “a business” - like a professional landscaping company. Who decided this, our MENSA candidate Shirley Franklin? Can you really go infront of a judge/panel/board and say with a straight face, “we need to water the baseball field”. Seriously, what the hell are they doing now? The season is over. What, giving tours? Celebrity t-ball?

On a local level, I went out for a jog the other day (believe it! hockey season is coming and I’m not in skating shape) and just bumbling along North Highland, and there before my wandering eye was someone watering their “patch” of lawn. By lawn I mean grass and by patch I mean about a 5′x8′ toupee. You can play some mean bocci on a field that size. You might as well turn it into cement and create an extra parking spot (they are doing it in Brooklyn). So, this rocket scientist was providing liquid refreshment to his lawn by laying the hose on top of it. You know, redneck style - set the hose nozzle in the middle of the target area, turn on the water, walk away and WALLAH! -instant flood. Brill-yant. I probably wouldn’t have noticed it originally except for the small river that was trailing from his “patch”, over the sidewalk, and into the street. Sweeeeeet. I hung out for a little while, waiting to see Karl Spackler come out. If people aren’t going to be responsible about it, maybe take a couple of the “parking police” (you know, they are on the suped up Segways) and have then tool around the city.

Not to totally bail, but while I was reading about this “Prayer session”, I also found out that there was going to be protesters. It all starts in like 45 minutes. This might be fun and entertaining. I think I will go down and view this thing firsthand. Hopefully there will be a clash of police and riot gear. I’ll be back with pictures and commentary later.