So we are a little dry here in Atlanta. And that’s putting it mildly. You pretty much can’t turn on the news without hearing about the “drought”. We see these images of Lake Lanier all dried out and the boats resting on the bottom. There’s been a battle between Georgia and Alabama about water distribution and everyone wants to blame Atlanta (too big, too dirty, too many people taking baths…), but I guess that happens when you have more people (6.7MM) in one city than people in the rest in both states combined (6.4MM) - shocker. Supply and demand people.
Never fear though. We have the answer. Well, Sonny does. Prayer. Yes, prayer. Supposedly it worked once before. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not an athiest or don’t believe in “devine intervention”, but come on, let’s at least get something in here we can count on, like maybe some Cherokee Indians from Appalachia doing a dance. I heard Pac Man Jones knows how to make it rain. Get him involved. If I’m a betting man, my cash in on the native americans. It’s about 10 AM, I’m looking out my window and the sky is relatively clear. Didn’t Sonny at least look at the weather report before scheduling this public gathering? Isn’t it ironic though, with the state of Georgia and the impact of religion - this is the same state that suggested to remove “Evolution” from science curriculum, because it couldn’t be proven (biological changes over time - WAHOO!) and that it might cross under god or religion. This is also the same state that argued for YEARS about keeping a kid on jail about getting a little “something special that all men like” in high-school. Oh, did I mention that during his incarceration, the law was changed and he was still detained. You know what, I think our public officials need a new PR agency or at least need to spend a little more time getting stuff done. We need to come across just a tad smarter.
Will the prayer be answered?:
Lets get back to this water issue. Using too much? Who is responsible for policing this? About a month ago, when the water ban was in full effect, Turner field was caught keeping the grass green. Good one. Why don’t we just break out the slip-n-slide and a pitcher of margaritas. Was “The Ted” not aware of the watering ban? Miss the memo? It just breaks down to responsibility and care. Now I read that the city will allow Turner since they are “a business” - like a professional landscaping company. Who decided this, our MENSA candidate Shirley Franklin? Can you really go infront of a judge/panel/board and say with a straight face, “we need to water the baseball field”. Seriously, what the hell are they doing now? The season is over. What, giving tours? Celebrity t-ball?
On a local level, I went out for a jog the other day (believe it! hockey season is coming and I’m not in skating shape) and just bumbling along North Highland, and there before my wandering eye was someone watering their “patch” of lawn. By lawn I mean grass and by patch I mean about a 5′x8′ toupee. You can play some mean bocci on a field that size. You might as well turn it into cement and create an extra parking spot (they are doing it in Brooklyn). So, this rocket scientist was providing liquid refreshment to his lawn by laying the hose on top of it. You know, redneck style - set the hose nozzle in the middle of the target area, turn on the water, walk away and WALLAH! -instant flood. Brill-yant. I probably wouldn’t have noticed it originally except for the small river that was trailing from his “patch”, over the sidewalk, and into the street. Sweeeeeet. I hung out for a little while, waiting to see Karl Spackler come out. If people aren’t going to be responsible about it, maybe take a couple of the “parking police” (you know, they are on the suped up Segways) and have then tool around the city.
Not to totally bail, but while I was reading about this “Prayer session”, I also found out that there was going to be protesters. It all starts in like 45 minutes. This might be fun and entertaining. I think I will go down and view this thing firsthand. Hopefully there will be a clash of police and riot gear. I’ll be back with pictures and commentary later.
Sing it with me - “The Freaks come out at….(dramatic pause) Day?” Ahhh… The Halloween Parade.
Yessss…. Hockey is here! This actually gets me more pumped up than college football (very close second). There is nothing like pro hockey. Its grace, its power, its fast. Its brutally strong guys from places like Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan and Dnipropetrovsk, Ukraine (say that 5 times real fast) chasing a frozen 3-inch piece of rubber around a 200×85 sheet of ice with sticks and attempting to both a) knock someones head off, and b) not get their own head knocked off. On a swivel folks. Blink and you might miss it.
My car tells me its 109 degrees. But its a “dry heat” they tell me. Does dry heat mean its the equivalent of trying to inhale sand? Or is dry like an oxymoron, for say…sweating your ass off? I now strangely know what it feels like to be a side of beef in a