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Feb13th2008

God Bless TiVO!

Published
by
geoff
9 months, 1 week ago
in Infinite Wisdom and Technology
. 0 Comments

ihearttivo.jpgToys and technology. Its amazing how some things, when you finally break down and get them, how much easier stupid things can get, and it leaves you wondering “how did I get along without it?”. As you roll back in time in your head, think about mobile phones – you used to have to be somewhere when you said you were going to be there. Directions or “I’m lost” used to mean you were calling from the gas station around the corner (or driving in circles). Mobile phones have progressed to the PDA and iPhone. No longer are you out of touch – people live with these things on their hip and feel disconnected without them. GPS, wireless, the internet, digital cameras…I could go on.

But oh man… the writer’s strike continues. I’ve got the weapon to combat that – TiVO or DVR. How simple does this make your television viewing life? I mean seriously…and you can get it with an upgraded box from your cable company for a couple bucks a month. Simple. Set up that season pass to record “Two and a Half Men” and wallah!, you won’t miss an episode. You don’t need to make sure you are in front of the tube on Monday’s at 9 pm or else you missed out. Especially with all the season long dramas – 24, Lost, Life, Heroes…you miss one, and you are out of the loop. This way, you can jump on some marathon session if you want. I especially like it for the obscure shows, like Three Sheets (a show about a globetrotting booze-a-rama comedian – its on Mojo). I literally can knock out a couple episodes on a crappy Saturday afternoon or a dull Wednesday night.

Also, miss something? Janet’s boob flash on Super Bowl? Funny Commercial? Mumbling actor? Gotta run to the bathroom? Burning dinner? Amazing play? Pause, rewind, or flashback. If you could only do this with real life. PS, the movie “Click” sucked. It was based on this premise but I would officially state that this is 90 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

It does have some kinks that need to be worked out. I’m waiting for the removable hard drive so you can take your collection over to your friend’s house. Your DVD library on a flash drive (patented by Geoff). My buddy Brad was telling me about his TiVO this one night while out for drinks, looking a little glum. “My TiVO thinks I’m gay”. He proceeds to tell us how it has a brain of its own (note to TiVO users, turn off the “suggestions”). He watched or recorded some travel show or American Idol for his wife (so he says) and it ended up recording “Queer Eye”, “Oprah” “The View” and Mens Figure Skating. Nice.

Think about all the goodness you can have. Your life shouldn’t revolve around TV, and now it really, really doesn’t have too.  I’ll hear people around the office - “hey, we’re going out for drinks, wanna come”, and someone will say - “Nah, Grey’s Anatomy is on”.  WHAT?!!  Think about all those shows you ‘might” want to check out but not sure you want to invest? Not to mention all the bonus points you can rack up with the significant other – “Sex in the City” or “Penguins vs. Rangers”. Well, that’s a no-brainer, but lets say the Pens were playing the Panthers or the Islanders. “Baby, by all means, watch your show”. At the end of it all, she’s happy; I’ll catch the game without commercials and skip all the crappy parts. Win-win if you ask me.

My vote for useful product in the new milenium - TiVO!

Jan30th2008

Hockey in the south

Published
by
geoff
9 months, 3 weeks ago
in Infinite Wisdom and Sports
. 0 Comments

hansens.jpgI’m generally pretty excitable about hockey. You could pretty much have the two worst teams in the league playing and I’d rather tune into that than any reality show, any day of the week. You get a couple of corn & beef fed Canadians, mixed in with some soviet block Europeans and a few Americans (whose dad didn’t force them into football) and you got yourself a good ole time on ice. Mix in the barbaric cross-checks and the occasional pugilistic fight (its actually called policing) and it’s a night of fun for the whole family.

The Atlanta Thrashers are slowly coming along. They benefit from a weak division that currently only has 1 team is at or above .500, and its not them. Regardless of that fact, they still could make the playoffs. Our neighborhood icebirds finally made the playoffs last year, but got swept out to no avail (quite rudely too) in the first round by the NY Rangers. The always-entertaining post-coital love fest in the hallways of Philips had my buddy Darrell with a couple Thrasher fans (who were more than a couple Budweisers deep sporting a NASCAR hats no less) discussing the finer points of Atlanta hockey. Same thing happened recently at a recent Penguins game. Its great to have enthusiasm for your team, but winning in the regular season means nothing if, and I’ll say it here and then drop this subject – you don’t win a playoff game. Cross that threshold, then come talk to me.

So what does all this mean? Well, we had a string of 3 games (including the All-star game) in one week, and I made a couple observations. Here are a couple things I’d like to mention to further add credibility to the Thrasher’s hockey atmosphere:

  1. Wearing a jersey of a team that is not playing on that particular night in that arena does not label you as a hockey fan; it labels you as a moron (as a couple Islander fans did the other night, well Islander fans are behind the moron 8-ball anyway). Leave it on the shelf at home. Got the itch to sport it, either dress as a hockey player for Halloween or buy tickets when your team comes to town.
  2. Yelling “shoot the puck” during the power play will not “Will” the puck into the goal. Are you bored? Restless? FYI - Its not quite like that Xbox game that you’ve mastered where you can shoot of your back foot while eating a hotdog and go “top shelf” past Martin Brodeur.
  3. Screaming out “Show us your _____” when the Ice Girls come out will not get you a date or endear you to any surrounding ladies. Just make sure to go all the way and hi-five your buddies after you get a glaring look from any that are within earshot.
  4. Booing players at the All-star game…Really? I’m just not sure what to say about this. I know this is a favorite pastime during player introductions of the regular season, but come on… This is an exhibition. I know, I know, enthusiasm. Cool, show it. Just don’t forget to wipe the mustard stain of your Islander “#1 Fan” jersey.

We’ve got about 4 weeks until the trading flurry (I mean deadline) begins. Atlanta will be indoctrinated into the art of dumping soon-to-be free agents All-Star players. Hossa = tradebait. I’m curious as to where he ends up and whether or not Waddell actually gets something in return – probably end up with a couple thirds liners, a draft pick and a ham sandwich. This is the beginning of the second season.

Jan20th2008

The BCS (Bowl Chaos Situation)

Published
by
geoff
10 months, 1 week ago
in Infinite Wisdom and Sports
. 0 Comments

I’m trying to understand what makes the braintrust of college football world go round. Well, at least the bowl season. Does anyone think this needs to be fixed or organized a little better? I just went through the 2008 BCS bowls (I LOVE college football), watching a bunch of massacres. Even the “national championship” was a blow out. I mean, congrats to LSU. You won. We can debate this all day, but when it comes down to it, Division 1 football (what are they calling it now- Championship sub-division?) has a paper champion. Every other sport in every NCAA division, has a tournament, even women’s water polo! Why is it that there is such resistance to a national tournament?  Finish it on the field.

We’ve had 32 bowl games this year. Thirty-two!! 64 teams playing that extra game. And some of these teams go 1 1/2 months between their final game and their bowl game and show up razor sharp (sarcasm alert). On top of that, AD’s and coaches are scheduling an extra game (12, instead of 11) on their fall tilt just to hope to be bowl eligible - 6 wins, at least 5 of them against the conference formally known at D-1. This year, you had 6 teams play in bowl games that were 6-6 (Cal, ‘Bama, Maryland, Colorado, Nevada & UCLA). Is that considered a successful season? Sure, you end up playing in the Petrosun Independence Bowl in Shreveport, LA (they should have just called it the Tidyflush Toilet Bowl), but when is enough, enough? Is it more money? Television dollars? Ticket sales?  Alumni support?

Getting back to my original thought… What’s wrong with a playoff? I heard the UGA President suggested an 8-game playoff. With the four major bowls serving as the 1st round. I think its a fantastic idea. Schools still get their money for appearing the bowl, and at most 2 teams will play one extra game and two teams will pay two extra games. I don’t understand why any college team, especially one that wants to call and claim themselves as national champion, wouldn’t want to do that. Competitors, right? Athletes, right? I say erase the doubt and settle it on the field. Don’t leave it up to writers and pre-season polls to determine who’s in and who’s out. The sad part about this suggestion, is that it barely caused a ripple. The “N-C-two-A” didn’t even give it enough credence to create a committee to discuss the possibility. Or at least reject it with come type of common sense. They just said no. The same way I did when I was 6 and I didn’t want to eat my green beans. I’d love to sit in on a meeting with the NCAA and just hear the reasons behind not having a playoff. We have to remember that these are the same people that thought to bring in the 64/65 game for the basketball tourney. I wonder how many man-hours went into that decision process. Is that one extra game, extra team really necessary? Did they think this was going to be innovative and shake up the world of basketball? Ok, ok, so you give one more team hope, a shot, you’re in the dance. Want to be labeled as the last team in? As if 64 teams aren’t enough. The 64/65 game kind of reminds me two male black widow spiders. They fight and fight to win. The winner then gets to mate with the female. There’s a little joy, hopefully some satisfaction, then he gets his head ripped off. End of story. Lamb to the slaughter.

So come on, NCAA, lets get this one right. Bring on the playoff. Satisfy the masses. Who loses in this scenario? No one. Who wins in the current scenario? The players, schools and alumni. Could you imagine if basketball had “bowl games”, and the top two teams were selected to play in the national championship? If you use the basketball model, how many times has the number 1 or number 2 won the whole thing? That’s right. Its not a given. Settle it on the field. Just like every other sport, game and event is done. Welcome to the 21st century.

Nov29th2007

Meet Jack

Published
by
geoff
11 months, 4 weeks ago
in Atlanta and Infinite Wisdom
. 0 Comments

jack.jpgClass is in session folks. This is my kind of education.

So, freshly recovered from my turkey & wine overdose, I decided to get back on the wagon of health and fine food. Haha… right. Wednesday night was filled with attending a “bourbon dinner” - which is a little bit of a misnomer, cause it was sponsored by Jack Daniels, which is a whiskey. Anyway, we’re talking about food and booze here people, no reason to get particular. My ex-Stepfather used to give me a shot of whiskey when I was sick with a cold/sore throat. I think it worked. But it might have been the tears of a 7-year old boy from feeling FIRE roll down my throat that loosed things up. Maybe that helped me build a tolerance, but you don’t have to ask me twice to attend. So this is how my brain works, it absorbs all type of useless info, and now I pass it on to you. My spirit guides on this journey was United Distribution’s Megan and her “silent” counterpart Brandon. So, here’s your daily dose:

  • Green label Jack Daniels is not special enough to get the black label. Basically, it didn’t make the cut by the tastemasters at the Jack factory. Think of it as the “damaged goods” aisle.  Someone brings a bottle of that to your party, you can now give them a sly, “you cheap mother f……” look.
  • Bourbon is actually an exclusive name of a type of whiskey (bourbon whiskey vs whiskey), requiring certain levels of corn, aged for at least (I think) 2 years, and made in the US. Just because its not bourbon, does not mean its lower in quality. Basically, its the corn.
  • Most whiskey’s are actually 180 proof (think paint remover) out of the cask and watered down for bottling. Cask conditioned whiskey’s are not diluted. They are the pure, good stuff.  Bring me that.
  • Legend says that Jack died from breaking his toe, kicking his safe, and infection set in. Didn’t we see all those westerns with guys getting shot and whiskey killing the infection?
  • No one has any idea why it is called Old No. 7. My favorite is that Jack had 7 girlfriends.  At one time.

Fun stuff, right? The hardest thing to watch during the night was seeing people order a pint of Coke and dump their glass of Gentlemen Jack or Single-Barrel in there to drink it. Seriously? This should have been illegal. I was waiting for the reps to say - “you can’t do that, you’ll ruin it”. Are these the same people that ask what kinds of White Zinfindel are on the wine menu or order their Filet Minon medium-well? Nothing like ruining the taste.

Anyway, a buddy of mine Russ (GM at Cheyenne Grill in Atlanta) hosted the event and pulled together a killer menu, including bacon wrapped shrimp and bourbon-glaze pork tenderloin. Nice work Russ. Excellent.

So, forget taking that bottle of wine to your stuffy holiday party. Bring your buddy Jack. Its the new tequila.  You never know, he might spice it up a little bit. Jack’s my friend.

Aug17th2007

News Flash - IT’S F*%#&@ HOT!!

Published
by
geoff
1 year, 3 months ago
in Atlanta and Infinite Wisdom
. 0 Comments

cartemp.jpgMy car tells me its 109 degrees. But its a “dry heat” they tell me. Does dry heat mean its the equivalent of trying to inhale sand? Or is dry like an oxymoron, for say…sweating your ass off? I now strangely know what it feels like to be a side of beef in a Ron Popeel rotisserie oven.

I’ve been in Atlanta for a couple years now, and I don’t recall it being this hot in the past summers. Newscasters down here like to talk about how hot it is. I have a couple new rules I’d like to pass along to those local weathermen: 1) when its above 95 degrees, just tell me its hot. If it is going to drop below 95 or maybe some liquid relief within the next week, let me know. If not, go back to the sports anchor or the news anchors for some other story. 2) Refrain from telling me that its 75 degrees somewhere else. Don’t make me wish I was there. I don’t care that it is 80 and comfortable in Boise, ID. 3) Cut the jokes and the smiling face. We are all miserable. I’m sure you have the studio chilled like a meat locker and probably send some intern to valet your car and get the AC running (If I could, I would too). We all know that predicting weather is an “exact science” (wink wink) Mr. Meteorologist. Its even better and adds tons of credibility to your skills when I can hear the weather channel in the background of your report (yes, it really happened and I really wish I TiVO’ed that).

It got me thinking. Is there another reason as to why we are all baking like cookies on a daily basis? We need something more than man is destroying the environment. So, this brings me to my new theory of Global Warming. Overall, temperatures are getting higher and weather is getting a little more extreme… I think we are getting closer to the sun. Has anyone explored that theory? Is there anyway to explore that theory? We don’t have any history to compare ourselves and other planets are too far away to even study, let alone give us some sort of expectations. Maybe the gravitational pull of the sun is gradual and Mercury will get swallowed up in a millennium or two. The way I look at it, we are third in line. Simple facts - the average temperature has been increasing every year, ice caps are melting, and hurricanes are becoming more frequent and more violent (seen a hurricane alert lately?). In 1965, the avg annual temp in Atlanta was 59 degrees, and in 2005, it was 65 degrees - an increase of 1.5 degrees per decade. If the average temperature rises at that rate, we are seeing a rise of 15 degrees per century. Do the math. Its gonna get hotter. It will make waiting for the NYC F Train at 2nd Ave during the summer seem like a “cool zone”. Gone will be the stories of walking 5 miles, uphill in the snow, both ways…Is it wrong for me to assume that we can’t totally blame the weather shift on the marvelous 80’s decade of aerosol usage (hello NJ claw!) and commuters? I’ll agree that there are more cars on the road, but aren’t emission standards tougher and fuel cleaner? Everyone likes to say that man is destroying the earth in a matter of years…I’d like to disagree. Maybe this is the life of our planet. Maybe this is how it is supposed to happen. Somebody give me a grant. Attention, Nobel committee, Geoff is spelled with a “G”.

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