geoffism.com

Is the Hollywood Walk of Fame for real? Do people really take this seriously? If I hadn’t seen it myself, I’d think it was some mythical place that you needed some type of credential to get in. But NO! It does exist. And its more fun when you see an absolutely hammered homeless guy piss all over someones star (true story!).

I don’t want to talk about whether it exists, but its legitimacy. Can you just buy a star? PR stunt? Xmas gift from an agent? Ricky Martin recently received his “star”, #2,351 on the boulevard recently. I’m going to make it my sparetime task to get a star. Hey, I did a voice-over for the animated series Cubix, as the DJ Robot. That’s gotta be worth something.

This past year, the walk was decorated with such screen luminaries as Erik Estrada (yes, Officer Frank Poncherelo), thespian Donald Trump, and Miss America (ooops, I mean Playboy Centerfold) Vanessa Williams. With that crew, makes me wonder - what is the criteria to get your own star? I mean, who could forget Estrada’s work on “The Surreal Life” and “Armed & Famous”? Did you know they really aired?? How about Vanessa Williams? Her body of work (no pun intended. haha - I’m funny…HI FIVE!) includes blockbusters “Johnson Family Vacation”, “A Diva’s Christmas Carol” (I heard she really got into her character), and I’m sure if you dig deep into your DVD collection, you will find a copy of “Eraser”, where she shared the screen with Ahhhnold. I believe the academy got it wrong when they bypassed this classic. You might as well line up Paris Hilton. She’s got her Emmy performance on “The Simple Life” (I think she was already recognized by AVN for “One Night in Paris”).

So, who is the selection committee? Is it the same as the MPAA rating committee? A bunch of soccer moms and PTA presidents? I mean, Big Bird and Pee Wee Herman have stars. Really? Now, here’s the confusing part, Pee Wee is a character (beee-leeeve it!). Paul Ruebens is the actor who brought Pee Wee to life (literally). So, we got a bird and a kid/man/pervert. Thank god the boulevard is balanced by the likes of Motley Crue, Kiss and Alice Cooper. Two guys that I can think of that don’t have a star - Robert Redford & Clint Eastwood. Why not? I would think their body of work and contributions to entertainment would far exceed that of Vanna White (ooohh Vanna) and Destiny’s Child (WHAT?! Didn’t they burn down houses or something?). Now, for Clint Eastwood, if you follow the Paul Ruebens philosophy, would “Dirty Harry” get the star? And would he get to blow someone away (please say Britney Spears, or at least feed her to a temperamental cougar) at the ceremony?

Anyway, so here’s your part. I want in. Here’s the nomination page. The committee doesn’t meet until next June (worky work busy bee!), so we have a little time. I need to raise $25K. Yes, you have to pay for these things. So, your dollars will be put to good use (if not, I’ll throw a big party). I promise to thank all the little people. By little, I mean those who give me money. Help now! I’m racing against Weird Al Jankovic for the beginning of 2009, so start filling out the nomination sheet!