geoffism.com

So, it has been done.  All our trusted government officials have sold off our future for a bucket of money that will douse the immediate fire, for the time being.  I decided to confer with my staff on what else we could do with $700B:

• I’ll make movies with Cameron Diaz and Angelina Jolie, in the same flick (combined $30M salary).  They would have to appear in a sheer number that would make most porn actors quake - 23,333 films
• I could treat everyone in the WORLD who is of legal drinking age to the prix fixe meal at Grammercy Tavern, including a decent bottle of wine and a nice 20% tip - comes to a pallateable $132 per person.
• We could buy every house in the state of Georgia, and still have $100B left over to establish our own government
• We could give a computer to every kid in the US.  17″ MacBook Pros.  Complete with free shipping and AppleCare.
• I could by a fleet of B-2 Bombers (the stealth variety) for my facebook friends to play with (who am I kidding, I don’t have 500 Fb friends!).  But where would I put those 500 jets?  Well, I still would have enough left over for 10 Nimitz-class aircraft carriers.  Ahhh…  the good life.  McHales Navy anyone?
• Speaking of film, I could start my own production company and crank out 4700 blockbuster (only by budget) films.  All my friends with the “screenplay of their lives” in their head would now be financed.  Each carrying a price tag of $150M.
• I could become the financier of every major sporting league in the US.  This cash could pay the combined player salaries of the NHL, NBA, MLB and NFL for 76 years.  And I would cut anyone who complained about their contract or that they were disrespected by a $5M/year salary.  My rules.
• Every seat for every game at Fenway park for the next 4400 years.  And that of course includes a couple World Series Titles.
• Last but not least, I beleive we could use this money democratically.  In 2004, we had 225M people eligible to vote.  Why don’t we give them a check after voting?  Sure, its bribing for a turnout, but I’m sure a few people could find the ballot box if they knew a $3100 check was waiting on them.

So, you see, I believe this money could be used a lot better than to bail out a couple financial knuckleheads at AIG (and some other places).  The sad part, is they will never learn.  What they have will never be taken from them.  Of course, after they learned of the buyout, the AIG execs decided the best way to celebrate their windfall was to drop $500k on a spa & golf retreat.  Sad…  At least you could have bought 233M hours with Eliot Spitzers mistress Kristen.