Here we go again. Somebody famous is in trouble. Shocker, right? I don’t think it is about right or wrong, or even if someone did it. Most of these people could be photographed or caught on video with the gun in hand, and get off with some form of tickle torture or made to eat an ice cream sundae. What it boils down to is money and what you can pay your defense team. Truthfully, how many of you out there were surprised when Paris went to jail? We had a pool going in our office on how many days she would actually spend. I was convinced that she would never see the inside of a prison, and I was “almost” right when she got sent to her cushy oasis estate for house arrest. The funny part, was when she got out. Her TV appearances were right out of the Hollywood playbook - start a womens shelter, grow up, and find religion. As of today, I’m still waiting on updates.
Unfortunately, there is a lot of time spent covering the celebs (including this space here) and we get to hear and see everything. But, when does it become reality that they are held responsible for their actions? Recently, “celebrity” Nicole Ritchie (and I use that term loosely) had to walk the line. She is our current front runner in the 2007 edition of the running of the Hollywood Prison Gauntlet. (Defending champion Mel Gibson had a scheduling conflict.) She recently posted a time of 82 minutes from check in to check out for DUI. I think I waited in line at Space Mountain longer than that! The minimum for this is suppossed to be 4 days. Here’s what perplexes me, she has a prior conviction of DUI (2003) and according to Calfiornia law, “if convicted of a DUI twice within 10 years a person faces a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail, a fine between $390 and $1,000, and a suspension of driving privileges”. Put that into the handy-dandy Hollywood legal language super computer and out pops 82 minutes. Amazing!
The betting favorite to take home the gold for the HPG is Lindsay Lohan. Lohan recently stuck a plea to 2 counts of DUI and misdemeanor possession of coke (does anyone else think the record is officially broken?) and somehow managed to get out with a slap on the wrist. The judge gave her one day in jail (again, the MINIMUM is supposedly 4 days), credit for “time served” when she was arrested (oh boo hoo! I’m sure she was blitzed and thought she was being punk’d by Ashton), and a truckload of probation. I’m positive that her one-day sentence will break the record set by Nicole Ritchie and she’ll walk away with the gold. Our experts are predicting her time will come in about 37 minutes, probably checking in at 11:53pm and out at 12:30am, without breaking a sweat. And the probation includes and alcohol education class for 18 months - for Hollywood types, its probably something equivalent to going to bartending school.
0 Responses to “Top-Shelf Legal”